Dear Glee Farm Attendee:

You'll calm down as soon as the air strike happens. Until then, use the slow solvent to etch distress signals into the green wall in the lobby. It should reveal a combo of space junk and pubic hair, so don't sweat it when the authorities ask, just tell them that's the way it comes out of the bottle. Blinky the porker is available to help you with any harsh combing or jacking, just ask.

Please let us know about any of your prior commitments or achievements so that we may dash them in lemon oil and old summer dogs.

By the way, have you ever spent time on the island of good beings? We had that crushed and powdered so you can only use it as an inhalant or body powder. We may send you elsewhere with a 4.0 mega pixel camera so you can snap away at your achievements until your memory is gone and then you're all ours.

You'll be okay. You can't complete anything we give you to do anyway (or do it right) so our expectations for you are rationally low.

Let us know if we can offer you relief in the form of fire or clothing--we'll try to do what we can, even if we use old curtains from the mansion for your pajamas--at least you'll have something to burn from us.

Best,
The Todd Colby Glee Farm Corporation